THOMAS (![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} ilabb) wrote,@ 2004-11-13 15:15:00 |
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Tina's Pizza Burritos: An objective analysis
I have a story. Today, I decided to use the $10 that my dad left me before work to go buy some Mexican delights from the local convenience place. As I browsed the aisles, I noticed a lack of Jalapeño Cheddar instant lunch noodle treat, my typical purchase. Dismayed, I decided I would buy some Hot Pockets. After many a minute of searching, I concluded that they lacked these, too. Quite a bit more dismayed, I looked around for a cheap substitute. And then the fated meeting.
Tina's Pizza Burritos.
I have always been a fan of the Tina's line of burrito-like substances, and even one of my earlier memories is eating a Tina's Breakfast Burrito. Yes, my earliest memories are of food. Shut up.
Anyhow, I decided that these were worthy of my consumption since I figured that these were made out of the exact same ingredients as Pizza flavoured Hot Pockets.
Kids, never trust intuition.
As I got home, I proceeded to unwrap the three mysterious burritos (I couldn't help but to buy three, they looked terribly small) and place them parallel on a plate. The multiple static shocks, the fact that the microwave blew the breaker to the kitchen and living room TWICE while cooking, and the fact that it smelled curiously like mosquito repellant as I pulled them out of the microwave should have been the omens I shouldn't have ignored. I carried the plate of steaming-hot burritos to the living room so I could enjoy my pizza flavour explosion while watching Tom and Jerry.
I took a bite out of one, expecting a good result. No. Just no. I was expecting real pepperoni slices, cheese, and a pleasant sauce. No. It was more of a paste that made me suspect that they just grounded up a dachshund and placed it in a tortilla. The taste was even less desirable. It was like a farmer who has been shoveling manure all day decided to take a leisurely walk on my tongue -- without wiping his boots. At this point, I really wanted some water. So I filled up the largest glass I could find to the brim with the life-giving liquid (It happened to be one of those jumbo plastic cups from Taco Bell). After this nasty meal, I decided to brush my teeth for about 10 minutes.
The moral of this story is that nothing good can come from the combination of Mexican and Italian foods. Well, Mexican Pizzas are good... but that's about it.
Wow. If I change a few words here and there, I can use this for an Express article! Score!! Haha, it's already longer than my last article XD
I have a story. Today, I decided to use the $10 that my dad left me before work to go buy some Mexican delights from the local convenience place. As I browsed the aisles, I noticed a lack of Jalapeño Cheddar instant lunch noodle treat, my typical purchase. Dismayed, I decided I would buy some Hot Pockets. After many a minute of searching, I concluded that they lacked these, too. Quite a bit more dismayed, I looked around for a cheap substitute. And then the fated meeting.
Tina's Pizza Burritos.
I have always been a fan of the Tina's line of burrito-like substances, and even one of my earlier memories is eating a Tina's Breakfast Burrito. Yes, my earliest memories are of food. Shut up.
Anyhow, I decided that these were worthy of my consumption since I figured that these were made out of the exact same ingredients as Pizza flavoured Hot Pockets.
Kids, never trust intuition.
As I got home, I proceeded to unwrap the three mysterious burritos (I couldn't help but to buy three, they looked terribly small) and place them parallel on a plate. The multiple static shocks, the fact that the microwave blew the breaker to the kitchen and living room TWICE while cooking, and the fact that it smelled curiously like mosquito repellant as I pulled them out of the microwave should have been the omens I shouldn't have ignored. I carried the plate of steaming-hot burritos to the living room so I could enjoy my pizza flavour explosion while watching Tom and Jerry.
I took a bite out of one, expecting a good result. No. Just no. I was expecting real pepperoni slices, cheese, and a pleasant sauce. No. It was more of a paste that made me suspect that they just grounded up a dachshund and placed it in a tortilla. The taste was even less desirable. It was like a farmer who has been shoveling manure all day decided to take a leisurely walk on my tongue -- without wiping his boots. At this point, I really wanted some water. So I filled up the largest glass I could find to the brim with the life-giving liquid (It happened to be one of those jumbo plastic cups from Taco Bell). After this nasty meal, I decided to brush my teeth for about 10 minutes.
The moral of this story is that nothing good can come from the combination of Mexican and Italian foods. Well, Mexican Pizzas are good... but that's about it.
Wow. If I change a few words here and there, I can use this for an Express article! Score!! Haha, it's already longer than my last article XD
